Waiting

I've never been one to wait patiently. I have learned that waiting is a virtue, but it is certainly one that I struggle with even today. Often when I ponder things I am reminded of a childhood "example". This morning as I was waiting quietly in my prayer time I was reminded of when I learned to bake a cake. The first couple of times I baked this particular cake, mom was there to instruct and guide. I was now on my own! Feeling very grown up (at the age of 7) I proceeded to mix the cake batter up. The cake? Love-light Yellow Chiffon. The secret to this recipe was the eggs. You separate the egg white from the yoke; the yoke goes into the batter and you beat the whites to a stiff peak, then fold them gently into the batter. Divine!

The challenge was the stove. We cooked on a wood stove with only one firebox to the left side. Many wood cook stoves have two fire boxes, one on each side. The reason? To bake a cake with one side of the oven hotter than the other, you had to very carefully and gently turn the cake half-way through the baking or it would fall flat. If you opened the oven door too soon, it would fall flat. If you open the oven door every 5 minutes to check on it, you guessed it, the cake falls flat. Waiting patiently as you recall, was not my strong suit.

When I pulled this particular cake out of the oven it was as flat as a pancake. Mom gently reminded me of all the times I opened the oven door and that perhaps next time I would wait a bit more patiently to check on the cake. I nodded in agreement, with just a hint of a tear in my eye. What I didn't want to mention to mom was how many spoonful's of cake batter I had consumed before ever putting the poor thing in the oven. I was "checking" the cake to see if it was raising past the pathetic amount of batter in the pan to begin with. I was hoping to hide the fact that the cake was flatter than a pancake before it ever got put in the oven.

I learned more than one lesson that day. Even though I hid my cake batter consumption from mom I knew in my heart it was wrong. Although I never 'fessed up, I was corrected by the natural consequence of the cake not raising. I knew that opening the oven door often was only part of the problem. The other lesson? Hidden faults have consequences, too. Did I mention, I had a wee bit of a tummy ache to boot?!

Grief Happens - Mourning is Essential

I remember the day well, Wednesday, March 29, 1995. My husband had gone to Seattle to help his son. I was expecting him back anytime. I wasn't expecting policemen at my door to tell me he wouldn't be coming home. Ever. Unfathomable. Numbing. Senseless. How could one breathe with such news. But breathe I did. First with great gulping sobs. Then slowly, moment by moment, day by day, month by month continuing to breathe, but with no real will to take a breath.

Grief. We've all experienced it sometime in our life. Whether it is a loved one, a loss of home, job, or health. Grief happens. According to Alan D. Wolfelt, "Grief is the internal meaning given to the experience of loss, whereas mourning is the outward expression of grief. To mourn is to heal."

I hadn't really thought much about the difference between grief and mourning until I went to a workshop a friend of mine put on, but it made complete sense. I understood the necessity of embracing the pain of my loss. I hadn't really considered the necessity of intentionally mourning. The only guidance I relied upon was from what I sensed God telling me to do. I remember asking God, after the rush of the memorial service, after well-meaning friends and family went back to their "normal" lives, "How am I going to make it?"

I was reminded of the death of Moses in Deuteronomy 34:8, "The Israelites grieved for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days, until the time of weeping and mourning was over." I felt a little nudge from God saying, "You can do it for 30 days - you can grieve - take the time." Yes, just 30 days. I can do that. When I got to the end of 30 days I cried out to God again, "Now what?" God said, "Do 30 days again." I made it through the first year 30 days at a time. Now it is 21 years later and still - grief happens. Not as intense, not as all consuming, but the loss of a loved one doesn't go away.

Grief and mourning are not the same thing. Grief happens one way or another. Mourning is an intentional outward expression of your grief. Allow yourself the tears. Take time to mourn. This isn't a race. "Grief teaches us the importance of living fully in the present, remembering our past, and embracing our future." (Alan D Wolfelt)

So today, I took time to remember, to mourn, to feel again the sorrow of losing my best friend. CS Lewis in his book, A Grief Observed, says it well, "The other end I had in view turns out to have been based on a misunderstanding. I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process. It needs not a map but a history, and if I don't stop writing that history at some quite arbitrary point, there's no reason why I should ever stop...Grief is like a long valley, a winding valley where any bend may reveal a totally new landscape."

My history is forever changed because I knew a man, Steele Meyer. May he rest in peace.

Meditating on Advent Again

One of the things I enjoy on my Samsung tablet is the fact that I can read the Bible anytime, anywhere. I use YouVersion. They have different reading plans that are fun and easy to use. This past month I read a daily devotional on Advent. The particular plan was called 121 Advent. I am not sure why I choose that one over the many options, but I quickly discovered it was just the one for me.

The meditations were on HOPE, PEACE, JOY, and LOVE. I wanted to share different aspects of what I was learning, but I would have had to retype the message. I've taken the time to re-visit some of the days. Some I paraphrased, some I quote.

Re-meditation on Advent.

Advent – a Latin word simply meaning, “coming”. Advent is not a biblical mandate, but a tradition implored among the Christian tradition to set our minds and hearts on the coming of Christ.

HOPE: Hope wavers in human hearts when it is based on mere desire. Hope based on what Jesus has done is a confident expectation and desire for something good in the future. It is full assurance.  When Jesus stepped into the scene hope was made possible. Romans 5:5 “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. God has given us hope, but we must abide in Him and His Spirit in us, in order to experience and live out hope. Colossians 1:27. Is the focus of your hope FOR something or IN the person of Jesus?

PEACE: “True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice.” MLK 

Shalom, the Hebrew word for peace means wholeness, complete flourishing of a person’s life. Your life being whole WITH God. Harmony. When we live in peace, God is glorified because He is the God of peace. We reflect Him through peace, but we also receive lives of good, of flourishing. This is why peace matters!

Peace was broken with God in Genesis 3 when Adam and Eve brought sin into God’s good and peaceful world. The peaceful relationship between God and man, and man and one another, is now hostile and damaged. It took Jesus as mediator to resolve peace with God again. Jesus, Prince of Peace. Jesus is Mediator. Jesus is the one who would offer to reconcile us back to God and and bring true peace into our lives. When Jesus was born, peace came into our world.

When we look out for the betterment of others peace becomes the natural outflow. When we love as Jesus loves, we bring peace to others. Bring peace. Bring love.

JOY: Happiness is not joy. Feelings of pleasure is not joy. Joy is an action of us choosing to trust God in our circumstances, even despite our circumstances. Joy is a knowing that God is in control of everything, even the details of our lives. We can be confident that God is always at work to draw us closer to Him in all situations. Knowing that brings true joy. Philippians4:4 “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: REJOICE.”

LOVE: “Scripture distinguishes human love and the love of god, the latter being perfect and the former, while a glimpse in part of God’s love, impossibly perfect due to the nature of sin’s existence. It is important to recognize our inability to experience the fullness of love apart from Christ, who removes sin and allows us to see love clearly and fully. That is why the advent of Christ not only gives us the grandest display of love, but it also allows the possibility for us to know and experience love.” (I Corinthians13 gives a clear definition of love by its characteristics, what it is and what it is not.)

“Why do we love? When we have a complete understanding of love, perfect love displayed for us in God’s gracious giving of His Son, the outpouring of love upon others is not only justified, but instinctive. We love because He first loved us.”

The source of love is God Himself. The source of love in us then becomes God’s Spirit, which indwells upon our salvation. I John 4:7 “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”

Our capacity to love is fully and completely dependent on the grace of God, which fortunately for us, is constant and far bigger than human capability or understanding. Defining love simply on our ability to choose love is an important aspect; however, this leaves love at the mercy or our ability, which is not love in the fullest degree of its existence. When we depend on God’s grace through faith for love we are made able to love in the fullest sense of what love is. When we experience the love of Jesus, we are then able to love others. Hebrews 10:23-24 “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds….”

Has God trusted you with His Silence?

Have you considered the story of Lazarus the brother of Mary and Martha lately? Bethany, the village where Martha owned a home that provided shelter and sustenance for Jesus and His disciples, became the backdrop of one of the most interesting stories of trust and love.

Jesus is away on another mission trip when Lazarus becomes ill. It came to a point where the sisters were so concerned for their brother that they sent a special request to Jesus to come and heal their brother. “Lord, the one you love is sick.” (John 11:3) And then they waited. Waited for a word from Jesus. Waited for Jesus to arrive. Hoping against hope that Jesus would show up before their brother died. All they received was silence. No word, no explanation. Just silence.

If Jesus would have sent a message ahead of His arrival what would He have said? Fear not, your brother is going to die, but he will live again. Would that have helped? Would that have answered their prayer? Wouldn't that create more questions than answers, perhaps cause confusion? Can we really say we are ready for the answer God has for us? Dare we believe God’s answer is bigger than our capacity to receive the answer?

When Jesus heard the sisters’ request his response was, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” (John 11:4)

Not only did Jesus not answer right away, he stayed away two more days before heading to Bethany. “So then he told them plainly, ‘Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.’” (John 11:14-15)

When He arrived Lazarus had been in the tomb four days. It appeared that their request, their prayer had not been answered at all. And yet, they were about to receive an answer that was above and beyond what they would have asked or even thought of asking. A revelation of who Christ is, resurrection and life, was about to manifest in their midst, yet the sisters each went to Jesus to chide him for not arriving sooner. They were familiar with Jesus, their relationship with Christ was one of friend, but in a moment their relationship would change from intimate friend to Glorious Savior.

Jesus deeply moved himself by the surrounding circumstance of Lazarus’ death and what Father was about to do said, “’Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?’ So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, ‘Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I know that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.’ When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “’Lazarus, come out!’” (John 11:40-43)

With God silence has its purpose. Sometimes we aren't able to hear the full answer. Sometimes we need to rest in the silence of God, trusting without hearing or knowing what the answer might be. Knowing that an answer will come at the appointed time.

God trusts us to not slander his reputation in the silence. To stand steady in the quiet intimacy of the here and now. The richness of the moment, learning to be still, trusting God. Coming to the knowledge God trusts us cannot be taught by any other method than His silence. What an honor. What a privilege to be brought into this silent fellowship with the one who loves beyond measure. Learning to rely solely on Christ. Learning to hear in silence the deeper yearning God has toward His creatures, His beloved.

As Oswald Chamber says in his book, If You Will Ask: Reflections on the Power of Prayer, "God's silences are His answers. If we only take as answers those that are visible to our senses, we are in a very elementary condition of grace. Can it be said of us that Jesus so loved us that He stayed where He was because He knew we had a capacity to stand a bigger revelation?"

Stand firm whether you are hearing God or not, stay the course. Trust in the One who holds the keys to life and death. 

To read the full story of Lazarus, turn to the book of John and stroll on over to chapter 11.

Grand Coulee, Washington Horizons Community Blog: McMorris-Rodgers Recognizes HORIZONS

Grand Coulee, Washington Horizons Community Blog: McMorris-Rodgers Recognizes HORIZONS

Recreating Blog

I had a blog set up using an older version of blogger and a hotmail email. So, now I am signed in using a gmail account and the new version of blogger. Much nicer I would say. Click to see the "old" site.